• Arlen Dancziger

Best Names in Sports Today

As a person with a weird name that is constantly mispronounced, I hold a special place in my heart for people who share in my struggle.

Professional sports seems to be a great place to find some interesting names, considering the variety of cultures that partake in the four major leagues. There have been some truly awesome names in North American professional sports over the years: from Dick Pole to Stubby Clapp and Coco Crisp to Harry Colon.


There may not be any more as unbelievable as these, but there’s still some hidden gems hiding amongst the highlights nowadays.

I’ll preface this list with a note: a lot of these names are normal in other parts of the world, or to different people. I find them interesting, fun to say, cool looking, and downright funky. I’m not here to shame anyone about their name, just to have some fun.


  • Bogdan Bogdanovic (can never have too much Bogdan in your name)

  • Tacko Fall (a sad image to mexican-food lovers)

  • LiAngelo/LaMelo/Lonzo Ball (is there really a better basketball name?)

  • Bol Bol (okay maybe this is better)

  • Justinian Jessup

  • Trevelin Queen (traveling queen i.e. someone who breaks the rule often)

  • OG Anunoby

  • Dwayne Bacon (mmmmm bacon)

  • Mo Bamba

  • Furkan Korkmaz



  • Chance Sisco

  • Xander Bogaerts

  • Ji-man Choi

  • Rowdy Tellez (just so damn cool)

  • Aaron Bummer (hope his teammates are excited when he joins them on the field)

  • Buck Farmer

  • Kyle Funkhouser

  • Scott Blewett (if he ever blows a save this could get ugly)

  • Skye Bolt (like thunderbolt!)

  • Shed Long (his plans for his backyard)

  • Max Fried

  • Drew Smyly

  • Touki Toussaint

  • Dansby Swanson (is he from the early 1900’s?)

  • Jazz Chisolm

  • Carter Kieboom (KaBOOM)

  • Mookie Betts

  • Buster Posey



  • Greg McKegg

  • Tuukka Rask

  • Kaapo Kakko

  • Jesper Fast

  • Boone Jenner



  • Haha Clinton-Dix

  • Ishmaa’ily Kitchen (he is the size of a small kitchen)

  • Tyus Bowser (the final boss)

  • Nick Chubb

  • Donovan Peoples-Jones

  • Sheldrick Redwine

  • Greedy Williams

  • Keke Coutee

  • Charlie Heck

  • DeForest Buckner

  • Rock Ya-Sin (one of my favourites)

  • MyCole Pruitt

  • Jake Butt (self-explanatory)

  • Taco Charlton (can never have too many tacos)

  • DJ Killings (he did not enjoy the wedding playlist)

  • Easton Stick (for you hockey fans out there)

  • Forrest Lamp (so close to gump)

  • Storm Norton


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